Martinis with Michelle, 2nd Round: Ladies,There IS a Different Way to Join the Post-Modern Feminist Party!~~

~~Introduced by InsightAnalytical-GRL

Editor’s Note: Are you upset that you don’t like Martinis and that you won’t be able to fully enjoy the class and savoir faire that Michelle Obama will bring to the White House?  Worried that out there in Podunk, USA there’s no way to really be close enough to the warmth and grace of Michelle so that you can absorb her amazing qualities (as described by Sarah Vine), that aura of being “invigoratingly intelligent, proud of her urbanity, but also unafraid of showing her abilities”? (You know, those talents she exuded when she shooed away the poor folk from the hospital where she was employed?) Or, are you concerned about how you’ll manage to COPE with all the pressure to assimilate into the Oprah-Obama universe? Are you secretly afraid that you’re too old to master the concepts in Vine’s wonderful resource “The Great Big Glorious Book for Girls” and just might not be able to transform into a true post-modern feminist? (DO review Ms. Vine’s eloquent ode to Michelle Obama here for more information on that “bible” for young women.) On the other hand, are you just plain distressed about how you’ll manage to numb yourself in preparation for dealing with years of  facing the Obama spousal unit??

Well, Average Women of America, our own kenosha Marge actually has discovered (in her words, “stole” it from a joke she found in a Traveling Pantsuits thread) an antidote for all these concerns if you can’t stand the thought of enduring a Martini even if it IS a drink that fully reflects the class and taste of our new First Lady, our new beacon of inspiration. Oh, what kM has discovered is a far humbler, more small-town,  but OH SO GOOD concoction for the rest of us who live in places outside the Washington cocktail circuit.  It even carries a woman’s name!!! Read on…

~~Contributed by kenosha Marge

(From an unknown source)

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living…with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
– Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
– Erotic lustiness
– Loss of motor control
– Loss of clothing
– Loss of money
– Loss of virginity
– Table dancing
– Headache
– Dehydration
– Dry mouth
– And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.*

***

So, Average Women of America, start imbibing Margaritas, now, well ahead of the Inauguration!! But here’s another WARNING I’d like to add.  Be sure to read the chapter on FALLING in Sarah Vine’s book (see link above)…not the part about the way to perform a fake “stage faint” but the real information about how to take a fall so that you don’t break your neck as you begin to acquire all the benefits of this nectar from the goddess.  After all, you don’t want to muss up your efforts to emulate the elegance and style of Michelle Obama…

***

*It has not been ascertained whether this reaction applies to “friends” who have become Obots.

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16 Responses

  1. Ah hell — I just want a rum, on the rocks. Mt. Gay rum is good — in fact very good.

    So the Male Stream Media has foisted on America this unqualified person who appears to be black — but culturally he is really white. I’ll bet that a large percentage of people who voted for him didn’t know that his mother was white — and that he didn’t grow up poor in the ghetto.

    Now they are trying to foist this illusion of a gentle lady who will be serving tea and biscuits and won’t be bothered with that governing stuff that her (lazy) spouse will have to deal with.

    After listening to that Mrs. Obama interview where she said she would have to “think” about supporting Hillary Clinton — and then it was Mrs. Obama who used the race card — no there is nothing that this creature can do that would make her acceptable. She is so self centered and just plain icky.

    Oh crap — after 8 years of GWB — it is going to get worse.

  2. Count me in! I love Margaritas and hate MEchelle, so I’m prequalified to be a member!

    Thanks for the morning laugh, Marge! Although in your climate you might want to consider the Hot Rum Toddy as well…

  3. I have never seen anything illustrious or inviting about mo….

    Margaritas I can deal with….leave it to KM to come up with the perfect remedy….beats Vitametavegamin 🙂

  4. PSSTCMERE!! For some reason couldn’t de-spam your posts and get them into the comments sections!! I tried several times and each time, they didn’t show up!

    Kenosha Marge—–the Traveling Pantsuits group is looking for you!!! (I thin that’s the message!)

  5. Morning folks, actually I stole the margarita joke from someone at the pantsuit spot.

    I’ve emailed Psst. I’m glad they came looking for me, I thought I’d been abandoned.

  6. hmmmm….it’s a conspiracy I tell ya 🙂 Thanks for your help; it is much appreciated. We are missing our KM fixes….and you are certainly welcome to come on over too. If you are interested, drop me a line….PssttCmere/hotmail.

    Thanks again…..keep up the good work!

  7. Ladies! I started the Margarita Medicinal Regimen years ago and it has always held me in good stead! On a personal note, after 28 years as a bartender I can honestly say that I believe Tequila to be the best overall truth drug and when taken, you will find out exactly what somebody is like down deep in the dark places they like to hide. Obots? Probably bitter nasty creatures….I think we should make all our elected officials get drunk on T and then video tape them – then decide who you want to vote for – but then again, they are all probably pretty nasty.

  8. Marge you’re a genius! Margeritas are better than stpid Martinis anyhw. Usually I stick with my glass of red wine after dnner but can handle Margeritas just fine!

    CQ

  9. KM….does Pony Express have email? lol I haven’t received anything from ya yet. Could you have spelled my name incorrectly? That happens all the time.

  10. Sure – invite us to drop over without a link ! What kind of cross-promotion is that? lol

  11. I don’t see any reason to celebrate anything about Michelle. NO grace, NO warmth, NO joy, but then she did marry NObama. Can I just have a bottle of Cuervo Gold?

  12. PssttCmere, I have emailed you 3 this morning and once again this afternoon. I even copied and pasted to make sure I spelled it right. Are you sure you aren’t trying to get rid of me? 😉

  13. cats said:
    “I don’t see any reason to celebrate anything about Michelle. NO grace, NO warmth, NO joy, but then she did marry NObama. Can I just have a bottle of Cuervo Gold?”

    Hey! I’ll drink to that!!
    Margarita, please…. 😉

  14. NO grace, NO warmth, NO joy

    Mrs. Obama is one of those cactus humans. However, a cactus might be insulted at the comparison.

    Gee I might have to sample some Tequila — I used to love Margaritas — then I switched to rum.

  15. KenoshaMarge…..This is very disconcerting…..I have not received a thing.

    Aw hell….Grail Guardian got it right….no link was not too smart…

    saywhatyouwill.proboards.com

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