~~Introduced by InsightAnalytical-GRL
Editor’s Note: Are you upset that you don’t like Martinis and that you won’t be able to fully enjoy the class and savoir faire that Michelle Obama will bring to the White House? Worried that out there in Podunk, USA there’s no way to really be close enough to the warmth and grace of Michelle so that you can absorb her amazing qualities (as described by Sarah Vine), that aura of being “invigoratingly intelligent, proud of her urbanity, but also unafraid of showing her abilities”? (You know, those talents she exuded when she shooed away the poor folk from the hospital where she was employed?) Or, are you concerned about how you’ll manage to COPE with all the pressure to assimilate into the Oprah-Obama universe? Are you secretly afraid that you’re too old to master the concepts in Vine’s wonderful resource “The Great Big Glorious Book for Girls” and just might not be able to transform into a true post-modern feminist? (DO review Ms. Vine’s eloquent ode to Michelle Obama here for more information on that “bible” for young women.) On the other hand, are you just plain distressed about how you’ll manage to numb yourself in preparation for dealing with years of facing the Obama spousal unit??
Well, Average Women of America, our own kenosha Marge actually has discovered (in her words, “stole” it from a joke she found in a Traveling Pantsuits thread) an antidote for all these concerns if you can’t stand the thought of enduring a Martini even if it IS a drink that fully reflects the class and taste of our new First Lady, our new beacon of inspiration. Oh, what kM has discovered is a far humbler, more small-town, but OH SO GOOD concoction for the rest of us who live in places outside the Washington cocktail circuit. It even carries a woman’s name!!! Read on…
~~Contributed by kenosha Marge
(From an unknown source)
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living…with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
– Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
– Erotic lustiness
– Loss of motor control
– Loss of clothing
– Loss of money
– Loss of virginity
– Table dancing
– Dry mouth
– And a desire to sing Karaoke
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.*
So, Average Women of America, start imbibing Margaritas, now, well ahead of the Inauguration!! But here’s another WARNING I’d like to add. Be sure to read the chapter on FALLING in Sarah Vine’s book (see link above)…not the part about the way to perform a fake “stage faint” but the real information about how to take a fall so that you don’t break your neck as you begin to acquire all the benefits of this nectar from the goddess. After all, you don’t want to muss up your efforts to emulate the elegance and style of Michelle Obama…
*It has not been ascertained whether this reaction applies to “friends” who have become Obots.
Filed under: Current Politics | Tagged: average women of America, Barack Obama, cocktail circuit, Margaritas, Martinis, MIchelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Podunk USA, post-modern feminism, Sarah Vine, savoir faire, The Great Big Glorious Book for Girls, Traveling Pantsuits, Washington D.C., White House |